The Tactical Strength Challenge took place this past Saturday at gyms across the world. As is typical of any lifting event, some new personal records (PRs) were set, some previous PRs were matched, and some performances fell short of expectations.
As is also typical of an event which requires a high degree of physical exertion, participants experienced a variety of emotions during and after the event:
- Enjoyment of the experience
- Exhaustion afterward
- Unbridled excitement upon achieving new PRs
- Varying degrees of disappointment when falling short of personal expectations
- And, in some instances, a bit of mixed emotions (e.g. excitement + disappointment) upon simultaneously achieving a new PR while also falling short of a larger goal
Today I’d like to discuss those last two bullet points—falling short of expectations, the feeling of disappointment that often accompanies the experience, and how to flip the mental switch and take away something positive when it occurs.
Falling short of Expectations + disappointment
As we develop experience in any area—fitness, career, relationships, etc.—we become more adept at developing goals that are challenging yet achievable and doing what needs to be done to actually achieve them. (For a little more on that, see the SMART PACT and addition > subtraction tips.)
Still, falling short is going to happen occasionally. Besides being human and not perfect, sometimes circumstances that are out of our control affect the outcome of a given situation.
And frustration and disappointment are natural responses any time reality doesn’t match our expectations.
While a little disappointment can sometimes serve as motivational fuel to progress, we don’t want to “live there” for too long. Besides being a rather not-fun emotion, it also clouds our judgement and awareness causing us to both miss out on other opportunities and delay the process of getting back to working on achieving our goals. (For a little more on that, see The Happiness Advantage… terribly fufu title, IMO, but a great book on the psychology of happiness and how it affects our lives.)
Flipping the switch
So if falling short is to be occasionally expected and feelings of disappointment can be temporarily beneficial but harmful in the long run, our main goal when these situations occur is to quickly learn what we can from the experience so we can get back to work turning the stumbling block into a future success. (Cliché, I know, but that doesn’t make it untrue.)
Here are two methods to flip that mental switch:
1. Recognize that any progress is still progress.
As an article that I recently read explained (emphasis mine), “‘Negative lumping’—recently coined by Ed O’Brien, PhD, a University of Chicago researcher—occurs when people dismiss valuable progress because they don’t fully achieve a goal. Instead, they lump the endeavor into the ‘failure’ category, just as if they’d made no improvements at all.”
While “negative lumping” seems to be a relatively common occurrence based on the research referenced in the article—so don’t be too bummed that you do it… we all do—it doesn’t make much logical sense.
If, for example, you lost 7 pounds but your goal was 10, you still have 3 pounds of work to do. However, recognizing that you’re still 7 pounds farther along than when you started can be immensely powerful in improving your mindset and helping you recommit to following your plan until you do achieve what you set out to accomplish.
Which leads me to the next, related method…
2. Measure your progress backward instead of forward.
We all have a natural tendency, whether conscious or not, to set more advanced goals almost as soon as we accomplish previous goals.
On one hand, this is a great thing. It nearly guarantees that we each continue to grow and develop.
On the other hand, it can also be a challenge. Not only does each subsequent goal, by definition, take more effort to achieve, it can also leave us in a perpetual state of disappointment or dissatisfaction because of another common human tendency to place happiness on the other side of any particular goalpost.
If we measure our progress toward a chosen goal based on our ideal—that is, forward, or how much farther we have to go—we’ll spend most of our time seeing our progress as inadequate.
But if we measure our progress backward based on where we started, we’re likely to be continually excited and grateful for how far we’ve come. Contrary to disappointment, excitement and gratitude are emotions that motivate, inspire, and increase our probability of success. (One more time… for more on that, see The GAP and the GAIN, written by an organizational psychologist and an extremely successful entrepreneurial coach. i.e. Gentlemen who are more knowledgeable on this topic than I.)
Putting it into practice
Once again, occasionally falling short of our goals is to be expected. Experiencing a bit of disappointment when that happens is as well. But falling short and being disappointed only equates to failure if we subsequently quit.
So don’t quit! 😉
Instead, do a quick mental evaluation of some goal on which you’ve recently fallen short and ask yourself one main question: What progress have I made so far?
Then, after you’ve answered it and feel at least a little better, recommit to following your plan and get back to work.