One of the fastest ways to get discouraged when starting any new behavior is to misinterpret how the first few weeks are supposed to feel.
After deciding to make a change, there’s often an expectation—sometimes conscious, sometimes not—that things should start to become smoother and more automatic fairly quickly.
(Notice how we subtly set ourselves up for disappointment by using subjective and unmeasurable terms like “smoother” and “fairly quickly”.)
When we execute new behaviors imperfectly—or when results don’t show up as quickly as anticipated—it’s easy to assume something’s wrong with what we’re doing (best case) or with us (worst case).
In either scenario, what we often fail to realize is this: Early reps will always feel awkward.
But that discomfort isn’t early evidence of inevitable failure. It’s simply evidence that we’re doing something new.
In other words, awkwardness is what practice feels like before it turns into skill.
Skills and behaviors
If you think about learning any physical skill—walking, writing, throwing a ball, or even tying your shoes—you’ll quickly realize that the early reps weren’t smooth or confident. They required attention, correction, and repetition.
Over time, those awkward reps became smoother and eventually formed the foundation for competence.
This is partly why play is important.
When we’re “just playing”, we’re generally more willing to tolerate feeling awkward and to continue practicing. The same can rarely be said when we take ourselves too seriously.
Behavior change works the same way.
Instead of treating awkwardness and imperfection as signals to lower expectations, change course, or abandon new practices altogether, approaching new behaviors as playful practice increases our willingness to persist, build competence (and confidence), and actually enjoy the process.
So if January is practice season, then awkward reps aren’t something to eliminate. They’re something to intentionally accumulate.
And those of us who make the most long-term progress aren’t the ones who avoid the discomfort—they’re the ones who use it as fuel to continue on.
Putting it into practice
For the next few weeks, continue to deliberately treat any of your new behaviors as practice.
That means:
- Expecting—and then ignoring—feelings of awkwardness.
- Refining the behaviors (by making them easier to complete) only if you find yourself skipping them regularly.
- Treating yourself with compassion—like you would a good friend—when you inevitably execute a behavior imperfectly.
- Most importantly, celebrating with a little fist pump, smile, or personal high-five any time you perform the behavior—regardless of how smooth, confident, or impressive it felt.
Soon enough, all of those awkward reps will turn into legitimate skills that produce the results you’re really after.