Years ago my brother told me about an observation that he had made while running his gym. And ever since he called it out, I’ve noticed it not only at my gym, but also just about everywhere around me, including in my own life.
His observation was that different people use the same circumstance as either a reason to do something or an excuse for why they can’t. I’ll add that any single person might do the same at different times.
For example, one individual might say that she doesn’t have time to train because she works two jobs while another says that she trains at 5 AM because it gives her the energy to make it through long days at multiple jobs and that’s when she has time.
Or, someone says that he doesn’t drink enough water because it’s never been a habit and he rarely remembers while another says that he carries around a water bottle and sets a timer to drink it because it’s never been a habit and he completely forgets without regular reminders.
Or one of my personal favorites (because I’ve been both people): “I have an acute, isolated injury, and since I can’t exercise the way I normally would, I’m just going to skip it altogether because I probably need to rest in order to heal anyway.” Versus: “I have an acute, isolated injury. I can’t exercise the way I normally would, but I’m still going to do some light movement for my healthy parts because it helps me feel and sleep better, both of which I need in order to heal quickly.”
Now, hopefully you realize that the body’s adaptive capability is limited. So there are, in fact, times when an “excuse” for not doing something does become a legitimate reason. But, in my observation, most of the time excuses are just stories we tell ourselves in an attempt to make our lives easier in the short term.
There are two problems here. First, excuses are rarely helpful for achievement of our long-term goals—success in any endeavor has a price which we need to figure out and pay. And second, they’re often only partially true in the first place… Sure, you have a bum arm. But didn’t you just carry four bags of groceries from the car to the kitchen in a single trip using your good arm?!? That seems to indicate that you can probably still do some other forms of exercise. 🙋♂️
So how do we flip our excuses on their heads when we make them? (Because we’re all human and will make them at least occasionally.)
You might expect me to say something along the lines of using willpower or discipline to just “suck it up and stop making excuses”, but willpower and discipline don’t exist in a vacuum.
Recognizing when we’re making excuses is certainly the first step. But I’d be setting you (and myself) up for failure if my advice was to “simply” think of the excuse as a reason.
Instead I’m going to suggest three specific strategies and a bonus general one…
Putting it into oractice
If there’s some area of life where you know you regularly make excuses, start out by WOOP’ing the circumstance: Figure out what you really want and the benefit of getting it. Recognize the excuse as an obstacle. And then develop an if-then plan for the moment you make the excuse in the wild.
When you’re in the process of developing the if-then plan, remember that behaviors occur at the intersection of motivation, ability, and a prompt. So make your first plan as simple as simple can be.
Then you can add a few more challenging plans for when you’re not just paying the price.
Finally, and especially in the moment when you catch yourself making an excuse, remember some of the obstacles you’ve overcome in the past, consider who you’ve become because of having surmounted them, and consider what the future might hold if you do the same here.
The entire process will become easier (and quicker) with a little practice. And you’ll find that your excuses for not doing the task in question will much more naturally feel like reasons to do it.
(If you want some guided practice with this process or to learn a couple other useful strategies for feeling more confident in life, check out an upcoming Mindset 101 workshop.)