About a month ago I sent a tip that included five practices for maintaining and improving health throughout the holidays and beyond. Today’s topic is an elaboration on the final practice from that tip: meditation.
If you happen to be someone who thinks meditation is a bit woo-woo, bear with me for a minute. I had the same general opinion until just a couple years ago when I was exposed to some ideas that entirely changed my perspective. Now I rarely go a day without it. (My practice might look different than you’d expect, but that’s kind of the point.)
My meditation background
I can’t say when I was first exposed to the concept of meditation, but my first “official” foray with it occurred about 18 years ago when I signed up for a four-session class that was offered at my final corporate America job.
Having been interested in fitness for a long time, I had heard of the benefits of meditating—reduced anxiety and increased contentment, self-esteem, empathy, trust, memory, and sleep quality, among others. But my understanding of how to meditate (probably based on some movie that I don’t consciously remember) and how meditation would lead to said benefits seemed silly and fluffy.
Of course, the class ended up reinforcing that (mis)understanding: sit cross-legged, thumbs pressed against middle and ring fingers, and repeat a nasally chant for however long you decided to do it. So I promptly forgot about it for a while after the sessions ended.
After I opened the gym a couple years later and throughout the next decade, meditation occasionally found it’s way back into my consciousness. Always on the lookout for things to learn and for ways to help TNT members, I’d dabble whenever I’d read an article or hear about a new app. But I never jumped on the meditation bandwagon because no explanation or practice ever really clicked with me.
Then in 2022 I went through a 300-day coaching program which required implementing a meditation practice in order to officially complete the program (which I wanted to do). While that certainly caused me to be more receptive to the idea, the program also explained meditation in a way that, fortunately and finally, made sense to me.
After a few weeks of practice and in the two(+) years since, the most significant benefit I’ve noticed is an improved ability to focus (for example, when writing a certain weekly trainer tip). And, as mentioned above, I now rarely go a day without practicing at least briefly.
Meditation 101
I am not now, nor will I ever claim to be, the Dalai Lama. 😉
In other words, I’m not a meditation expert. That said, the ideas below provided the foundation on which I was able to start and continue a meditation practice that’s proven effective for me.
Is there more to it? Probably. And I’m sure that I’ll learn more as time passes. But if you’re on the fence (or even on the “not-for-me” side) about meditation, hopefully what follows will shift your perspective and give you a grounded, accessible way to approach it.
What’s the point?
Perhaps arguably, the main point of meditation isn’t to reach enlightenment. It’s to improve your ability to focus.
And improving your ability to focus leads to better experiences throughout life, including those listed above (e.g. reduced anxiety, increased contentment); increased feelings of presence when spending time with friends, family, and co-workers; and better problem-solving skills, stress-management abilities, and productivity.
Think of meditation as exercise for the brain. Just like you might go to the gym to improve your muscular strength and endurance to better handle the physical obstacles life throws at you, meditation improves your brain’s capacity to handle the psychological obstacles.
How to
While you don’t have to sit cross-legged or press your thumbs and fingers together, there are a couple physical practices that can affect a meditation practice. (Physiology drives psychology as much as the other way around. We smile when we’re happy, but we can also improve a sour mood by smiling for a while. Try it if you don’t believe me…)
Here are the four high-level physical and mental steps to practice:
- Lengthen your spine: Whether you stand, sit, kneel, or lie on your back (my preferred option), “getting tall” through the crown of your head or, if you prefer, acting proud or dignified will make the next steps better.
- Breathe: Inhale through the nose, hold briefly, and exhale for slightly longer than the inhalation.
- Anchor your mind: Focus on your breath; a word, phrase, or mantra (the etymology meaning a “tool of the mind”); how your body feels; or any other single “thing”. Again, meditation is about focus. It’s not about having no thoughts, but rather noticing thoughts that occur, letting them pass, and reverting focus back to your anchor.
- Return to the anchor when you notice you’ve drifted: And drift you will. Because just like the heart pumps blood, the brain generates thoughts. We can’t stop that. But what we can do is to notice when we’ve hung on a thought for too long and intentionally return to our anchor. Like the gym metaphor above, returning your focus to your anchor is like performing reps of squats; doing the reps is what makes you stronger.
Don’t judge, just do
Like with physical workouts, it can be easy to develop the mindset that a meditation practice has to be a certain minimum duration or that it wasn’t a good session if your mind seemed to be constantly drifting (as in, “what’s the point of meditating if I can’t focus?!?”).
But the best analogy I’ve heard here is to treat meditation like brushing your teeth.
If you’re exhausted after a long day and half-heartedly brush your teeth for 5 seconds, you don’t stress out about it. You just put the toothbrush away and go to bed. Alternatively, if your brushing session would make 9 out of 10 dentists proud, you also probably don’t throw yourself a party to celebrate. You just put the toothbrush away and go to bed.
That’s the same way to approach meditation.
Do you have time to meditate for one breath? Great! Do it, and get on with your day. Did you meditate for 30 minutes (or more)? Great! Get on with your day. Was your focus everywhere except for your anchor? Great! That might’ve been the session you needed the most that day. Or were you able to hyper-focus for the entire session? Great! Tomorrow will probably be different, so get on with your day.
Whatever the case, remember the point of meditating and its benefits, and… Don’t judge, just do.
Putting it into practice
If you’re a regular meditator and have a practice that works for you: That’s awesome! Keep it up. (As if you wouldn’t have anyway.)
If you’re not a regular meditator: My challenge to you is to try it every day from today through Valentine’s Day.
At a minimum, do it for three breaths. (I know you have at least that much free time even on your busiest day.) Of course, there is no maximum time. But, as much as possible, aim for 5-10 minutes.
For this experiment, Valentine’s Day is just an arbitrary day about three weeks away. But it also seems like a perfect day to observe the improvement in your ability to focus, whether that’s based on the presence you feel with that special Valentine or simply with other friends or family.